At Church this morning we had a Covenant Service. The point of this was to have a covenant with God and hand over the next year to him. As it is New Year's Eve tonight (tomorrow will be 2007!) it was an appropriate time to give everything over to him. To promise things to do with attitude and commitments you are handing over to him. It is nice to say these things out loud, even though it is a major part of our faith. To read the words of the Covenant all together is somewhat invigorating.
This morning, the main thoughts that were coming into my head was about what I am doing with my life. How will the next year be any different? How will I start living and doing what I should be doing? I do love my life and the people that surround me. However, I am deeply unsatisfied with what my purpose is.
But how do you know which steps to take? It's a crucial time in my job-deciding world as to which way I go now. Any one will take years of commitment to get to where I actually want to be. So which one should I choose? I am limited by needing to stay in London (for now).
In an effort to understand these choices better, I will list them here.
Social work.
Do I want to be a social worker? I know there are different kinds - I think I would prefer to work with asylum seekers and refugees then to be a family social worker. This would entail another 3 full-time years doing a social work degree. This means a lot of money and being unable to live for the entire time of my degree.
I could become a social-workers assistant - However I still need a couple of years experience for this (which I just don't have.)
Working with The Refugee Council
I do not have enough experience to work in most of the jobs they advertise on their website. They once listed a job as a help desk worker which I could quite easily fill - let's hope one of these type of jobs open up soon.
Working with the British Red Cross, Amnesty International or Christian Aid (see any other reputable aid organisation)
I am just not qualified. Not enough experience. I have applied for jobs as assistant to people - I have gone for two interviews with the Red Cross (firmly cementing my belief that I want to work for them) but I have fallen at the last hurdle with too little experience.
I have been looking for a job under the title Research assistant/ campaign assistant - When I get to filling out the application form I end up just getting depressed. How are you supposed to get the experience to even be able to apply for these jobs?
A Masters Degree in International Development
I do want to do this - I have found an MA that you can take part-time over two years (one evening class per week). But then once again - Money! How do I find the money for this? I have barely even started paying off the debts for my BA degree. Also, I am already so exhausted when I get off of work. How on earth would I find the energy to write an essay or two on the important issues in the world?
Continue doing soul-sucking job but save up for yearly/bi-yearly working trips to Romania/Africa/Philippines
I just want to be part of a Charity organisation, an aid organisation, a campaign of some kind - what if I can only do this part time? Would I be satisfied? Is it selfish to think of the reason that I want to do these are to be satisfied?
What if I start on any one of these routes and find that it is not what I should be doing? I am soooo not on the right route now, but how on earth do I get off of it? It's like a full-steam ahead train ride that doesn't stop until final destination, until at the point when it will just be too late to turn back.
I'm sure that once I make one small step things will be clear. Perhaps writing this out will help me in some way. All I know that is whenever I am sat in Church I end up thinking 'what am I doing?' Particularly when we are giving our lives over to God for the next year. What should I be sacrificing for God? What should be my first step?
5 comments:
wow. lots of decisions. we're in the midst of them too over here. Happy New Years!!
That is a lot to mull around and figure out.
Is there no financial aid for higher education in England like there is here?
That's a lot of stuff to consider and sort through. I hope you find all the right answers for yourself. It's just so hard, sometimes, to find the right open door. Good luck to you!
I can advise you, as an MSW program coordinator, that you do not need to get another bachelor's degree for social work, but should go for a master's degree. That is two years over here. Come on over to CSU!! Seriously, though, we never advise getting a BSW if you already have a bachelor's degree, but go for the master's. There are SO MANY avenues for social workers. I will add you to my long list of prayer requests that you find what you are meant to be doing. There are many of you in this family who are in this boat!
Life has too many decisions sometimes, but I guess that makes it a little more exciting. Good luck on your decision. I personally (like it really matters) like the Red Cross idea, that sounds so amazing.
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