Thursday, January 22

January of Hope

So who knows if there’s anybody that still exists in this blog world that is there. Funny how such a depressing post can sit, unmoving, relentlessly depressing, until someone decides it’s time for it to be put to bed.

Life is good. Incredibly hard, painful, teeth-pullingly excruciating at times… But good. I have started to believe powerfully in prayer. I pray for self-improvement. I pray for strength when things just aren’t happening the way I thought they should. Good things have happened and seriously bad things have happened but seriously… How could I be happy in the good times if I didn’t know how low I could get?

So good things that have happened to me…

Back in December I applied for a job that I really didn’t think I would even get an interview for. I was back at home in Manchester for the weekend and got a phone call that put me on CLOUD 59. I had an interview. I seriously didn’t think I was going to get it... It was far too good to be true, and I just didn’t have the experience needed. I went for the interview, and realised that the more they talked about the job and the charity, the more I desperately wanted to work for them. This job didn’t sound like WORK, it sounded like something I was passionate about and desperate to become part of. Later that day, my interviewer called me, and not only told me I had the job, but that when I left the room, there was an ENERGY and EXCITEMENT that they couldn’t wait for me to start working with them. They felt I really had something to bring and that my passion was not only visible but contagious. How exciting is that?

So I had two weeks off over Christmas to get used to the fact I was going to start doing something I really really cared about. I had a great Christmas with my family and New Years with friends in the Norfolk Broads (pictures to come!).

Since starting my job, I have been happy. Not only am I seriously helping children in countries that I care about, but I’m going to be actually visiting the projects. That means that I’ll be in India in April, Russia in May and Cambodia in November. Remember that feeling I get when I feel trapped and unhappy, I feel the need to MOVE? Guess what? I’m getting paid to stop feeling that way. I’m getting paid to be part of something I really care about, and visit places I have always wanted to go. This January, for the first time, I feel okay in where I am and the fact I won’t be trapped in a little English bubble for the whole year.

Now… The bad things? I’m married to an actor. And with that, there are quite a few upsides and downsides. Downside being that there’s a recession on at the moment and the first thing to go is the Arts. Less theatres are hiring, less plays are being made, less TV shows are casting. It’s tough. We got pretty low at one point because money definitely does not grow on trees. Adding on debt from having a wedding recently and living in the most expensive city in the world (it’s true!) really makes it hard to live our day-to-day lives sometimes. But luckily my husband has a lot of talent, not only in the acting world. He has been designing and making furniture from reclaimed wood and last weekend actually sold a table. Not only sold the table, but sold it within 6 hours of it being available to buy!

We also have each other, and seriously nothing could be better. We love each other and that is seriously all we need, and sometimes all we have!
So live is good. God is good. If only we could do a little something about the
grey skies up there.