The American In Me

I have stumbled upon the age old problem of finding a job. It’s the horrible Catch 22 where I don’t have experience for what I want, but I can’t get experience because I can’t get a job. This is no surprise, as I am sure millions of people in their 20’s are experiencing this.

The only problem is, I starting doing office jobs right out of university for money – Easy Money. My typing speeds are shockingly fast for this keyboard-illiterate country that I live in, so I found it pretty easy to get a well paid office job. I am now highly qualified for administration/helpdesk jobs.

How do I get out of this?

Every day I come into work and spend hours online (my job is so mentally challenging that I can do about 10 things at once whilst still being able to look like I’m working as hard as ever). I don’t want to live in an office. It is so against every single part of my body and soul.

But I am stuck.

Once again, I know this is a common dilemma – I just feel like a prisoner. I come to work and I have to morph into another person to be able to stand it.

Who cares if a millionaire banker gets to have an audio call with his video conference? This is NOT life or death! The world operating solely on money depresses me.

My worst nightmare as a pre-teen was to grow up and become normal. I think I still have an aspect of this inside me – I was always so scared that if I lived in England for too long I would completely forget all my childhood in Switzerland and my young teens in Manila. I suppose this is impossible, but just imagine! What if I became one of them! To be dis-satisfied, unhappy, unfulfilled, and find that completely acceptable!

So many times I hear my colleagues talking about their aspirations like they’re dinosaurs or unicorns. I want to shout at them and say ‘If you want it to happen, do it! Work for it! There is absolutely nothing stopping you!’

Is this what they call the American Dream? I was brought up knowing in my heart that Anything Is Possible. Absolutely anything. To quote a very cheesy (classic!) movie, ‘If you build it, they will come’. Hope, excitement and open roads is what it’s all about. And I really do worry sometimes that sitting here in this plastic office with its carbon copy employees and repetitive phone calls is killing just that: the understanding that Anything Is Possible.