My mind is swimming right now. Swimming with re-awakened feelings, thoughts, memories, passions. Being a TCK has been gently pressed to the back of my mind for the past few years - every new English experience has prodded it further back to the point that I don't even factor it into my life anymore.
And then there was discussion. Finding other people that echo my repressed thoughts, and being able to openly talk about it like it's normal - that what I feel is normal. It is lovely. (Ironic how it's the fact that we don't want to feel normal that unites us.)
I've also realised how many things I have problems with that are connected to being a TCK. For instance, I find it extremely difficult to find people that I even vaguely relate to. Everybody wants to put me in a category that they understand; "Oh it's because she's American" or "she's a girl, so she does that kind of thing". Hm. Me no likey categories. I like blurry lines and cross-overs. I like oxymorons. I like people that know enough to know they don't know anything. I like people who laugh at themselves, and find humour in absolutely everything. I like people who seek out knowledge, want to soak it up and swim around in it for a while.
Writing this blog has somehow turned into a re-awakening. And it excites me. It could not have come at a better time. I'm looking back on my life and wondering what my past has to do with my future. What have I learned? What does it mean? What do I know about me?
5 comments:
Ironic - you're the one who has revived all these thoughts in me! Mine were far more repressed than yours. It's something I've pushed out of my head for a long time. Not the best thing, perhaps, but now I'm remembering.
"I like people that know enough to know they don't know anything."
I would like to be one of those people. There's so much more to learn if I don't assume I already have the answers.
I have found blogging to be good therapy for me, too. I love your blog, and the things you say make me think.
"I like blurry lines and cross-overs. I like oxymorons. I like people that know enough to know they don't know anything. I like people who laugh at themselves, and find humour in absolutely everything. I like people who seek out knowledge, want to soak it up and swim around in it for a while."
This is really awesome! This is exactly what I like in life (and in people) as well :-D
This intrigues me. It's hard for me to think that people over there would call you American. How can that be when you've lived your entire life over there? I guess you are walking a line in a way. But if it matters any, your just my cousin, plain and simple. I love ya no matter where you lay your head!
MG - I think that you definitely are that kind of person!
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