Thoughts as they come into my head

It has been over a week since I last posted.

I have either been too tired, emotionally drained, annoyed, cranky, gripy, moany, sleepy, generally not-nice-to-talk-to-let-alone-read-about-my-bad-mood to write. My stomach has been having issues this week and I'm not entirely sure if it's to do with being stressed at work, or what. But it ain't been pleasant, that's for sure!

This past Saturday Conrad and I went to go and get my engagement ring re-sized. When I passed over my ring my entire spirit just went completely down. Symbolism is such a powerful thing. As soon as we left the store I felt kind of empty. I stare at this thing so much and it's such a constant presence on my finger, that when it was gone, I felt something quite important was missing. I wanted people to know that I was engaged! I wanted to play with it when I was on the bus! I wanted to gaze at it for hours on end when I was supposed to be doing work! Last night I got it back again and I felt immense relief when it slipped back on my finger. Not only does it fit perfectly, but I have a new-found respect for how much the ring symbolises. This ring will be on my finger until I die, and shows everybody that I am in love and am completely taken. I just didn't realise how attached I would become to it in only 2 weeks.

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It's my Brother's Birthday today. Please go look at his art and appreciate the Greatness Of Nick. He will always be 18 (the age when he moved away to America) in my mind. Or the brother who swung me round and round in the garage and accidentally pulled my arm out of the socket. The brother who wanted to pull out my loose tooth by attaching a piece of string to the doorknob and slamming it. The brother who triple dared Allie and I to jump off of Diesselhof Bridge (which I didn't!) with him over the Rhine. The brother that plays super-loud Pet Shop Boys or thrash metal at 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning. Happy Birthday Nick!!!!

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Ben (a.k.a. My Bridesman - is there a correct term for that?) is coming to visit tonight for the weekend. Granted, whatever we do, we'll have fun. I'll try and take as many stupid and ridiculous pictures as humanly possible and subject them to you next week.

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I have been browsing magazines for wedding dresses the past couple of weeks. Apparently, strapless dresses are in. And it's impossible to find anything else. I don't heart strapless. As of yet, I haven't found anything that makes me want to pass out with glee. I have realised that I do heart trains:

We haven't been able to set a date yet, because we're having Church issues. This is the Church that I really really really really really really really really want to have it in:

It's intimate and picturesque. I can seriously see myself standing right there, getting ready to walk in and get married.

But apparently if you book a wedding in this chapel, you book everything: flowers, minister, hymns (organ player and all!!), photographer.. What is the point in that? We are the kind of people that want a very personalised service. I know exactly what kind of flowers I want, what kind of music I want, and the most important thing is that I want my dad to perform the ceremony.

When we went to go visit the Vicar, he was kind of stumped. He had obviously never had any kind of request such as this before. All we wanted to do was rent the chapel (not him!) and he wasn't sure how to take it. We are still in 'negotiations' at the moment, meaning that I have emailed him and he hasn't gotten back to me. This has kind of stopped my planning in it's tracks, because I have absolutely no idea what we'll do if we can't get this chapel! Boo!

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That's all I can think of right now - Must go back to work in the drone colony.