I had a week to prep, and prep I did. I gave a 10 minute presentation which I KNOW was amazing. The interview went so well. In my prep work, I covered all grounds for potential questions and what the best thing to say would be. I rounded the troops - gathered information from people who knew more than me. I had an army of 'you can do it's!' behind me.
I'm gutted because it was perfect. Well, at least right now I feel like it was. It was a huge step up for me, but one that I realise now I am MORE than ready to take. I want it. I want to work hard, to make a difference, I really really thought I had it in the bag.
A couple of things - I know that I gave them a lot to think about during the interview. I'm good at reading people, and they liked me. There was a vibe in the room. We were on the same page. We were throwing ideas back at each other, there was a buzz.
At the end of the interview, asking a few questions about the organisation and asking the trustee the reasons behind her working for the charity, I mentioned flexible working and family friendly policies. Their faces dropped. I know that legally they are not allowed to take motherhood into consideration while hiring someone, but I'm pretty sure the rejection of me had something to do with that. I do understand that whoever succeeded in getting the role will have had more experience, perhaps gave a better interview ---- but I just had the feeling the whole way through that it was going well. You know, when you know? I don't meant to be cocky. But then I came out with the mother thing and I could see it wasn't going to happen.
So I came home and held my son, cuddled him close and wondered if I shouldn't have mentioned anything. By law, if you are hired by someone and you apply for flexible working, they have to give it to you unless there is some reason they can't. And it has to be a pretty valid reason. I thought to myself 'should I have kept it on the down-low till they offered me the job?'..
So I came home and held my son, cuddled him close and wondered if I shouldn't have mentioned anything. By law, if you are hired by someone and you apply for flexible working, they have to give it to you unless there is some reason they can't. And it has to be a pretty valid reason. I thought to myself 'should I have kept it on the down-low till they offered me the job?'..
I looked at Milo and guilt clenched my insides. How could I neglect to mention him? How could I pretend he didn't exist? I need a job where I'm not only allowed to talk about him, but they are more than willing to let my motherhood be a part of who I am and the job that I do. There's no way I'm keeping silent about my boy like there is something to be ashamed of. You know what? I'm a mom, and I can do this job, and I'm allowed to work different hours because I will rock at it, because I am the best candidate, and YOU KNOW WHAT? Milo makes me the better candidate and a better person.
So, yes the job was perfect. Everything about it seemed so right for me, and I wanted it so very badly. But this is life, and I move on and I get over it and I look at my family and my home and I breathe deeply and stop. Life is all of this that I have. Be alive and live in that.
4 comments:
That must have been discouraging, but you expressed it so well. Your conclusions said it all. Hang in there.
(Boy, that sounds so trite, so I'll just add that I really love you and believe in you.)
oh geezzzzzzzz..... I hope if that happens next time - and their faces drop - you call them out and stand up for yourself and Milo and say the very things you said here in this post. In a nice and respectful way of course, but having a child ADDS to who you are - not take away. If I were on a hiring board and someone said that - I'd at least rethink my position.... I sense that you feel disappointed but in a way strengthened in who you are and what is going on in your life right now. more power to you.
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