Forever Itching

So I'm wondering when this itchy feet thing will ever go away, if my desire to just pack up and leave will ever be sedated. I'm beginning to think not.

Conrad is on tour at the moment, leaving me Single in London. I don't much like being alone, particularly because of the fact that it just reminds me that I want to go. Anywhere. Soon, please.

I sit around reading facebook and all my friends from here there and everywhere. They speak of Manila and of the rain and sun and school. They speak of my teenager years, of my past. I want to go there. It seems that everyone from those days wants to go back - planning quick trips over Christmas, trying to figure out some way of working there. I miss the way of life, I miss manana . Why do today what you can do tomorrow?

It's difficult when you're homesick for a home that no longer exists. When, in order to go home you have to go the 3 or 4 places at once, and still then - it will not be the same.

I know that if I left London I would miss it. I know that this will never go away, it's just hard to not feel like this when my reason for living here is gone.

Kindred Spirit

Today is the birthday of a spectacular lady, whose loving character, humble nature and playful personality makes me happy everyday. My mom.

I've always been a mommy's girl, which definitely doesn't mean I love my dad any less. Just me and my mom are a lot alike. Conrad comments regularly on things that I say or do that are like my mom - and when we're together he just looks at us as if to say 'now I don't have to deal with just one, but TWO of you??'

My mom and I go to Alton Towers together, usually ending with her forcing me onto the most dangerous and scary ride there is - calling me a scaredy cat if I appear slightly afraid. My mom scours e-bay to look for PlayStation games that we can play together when I'm home, spending hours exploring magical worlds as a team. My mom takes me out for and Indian meal where we sit and talk for hours, eating far too much pasanda.

When I'm sick, there's still no-one better then my mom to make me feel like every thing's going to be okay, and she understands and will do anything to try and make me feel better. The same goes if I'm generally feeling a bit blue. Nothing like a good sympathetic shoulder like my mom.

Quite often you'll find my mother and I singing songs on the top of our lungs that we're making up as we go along, improvisational little testimonies to our likeness. We like to be silly together - it's just fun.

My mom is alone today on her birthday which makes me sad. I hope she realises how many people across the world appreciate and love her, even though they aren't able to tell her every day.

Happy Birthday Mom!!

Nester

There's something exciting about digging through the hordes of shoes at the bottom of my closet, throwing the flipflops behind me in eager anticipation of reaching The Knee-Length Boots. It's October, it's raining, and I want to be cosy. Zipping up my boots, I get a chill from the cold leather lining. The chillsome air starts feeling more welcoming as I tie up my long warm winter coat.

I walk outside in the moisture filled air and push up my umbrella. Today is the first day I need an umbrella, the first day I need my coat, the first day I wear my boots. I'm feeling cosy as I walk to the bus stop, already looking forward to the moments when I get home and feel the shock of warm air on my face.

I love autumn.

I can smell the damp leaves falling from the trees lining my street. I can taste the moisture in the air, trying to creep past my scarf.

I've decided tonight I'm going to read a book. Get home, take a bath, and read in the yellowish light coming in from the street. I realise it's time to free the blue Grandma-knitted blanket from the trunk in the bedroom, wrap it round myself while I drink tea and nibble on whatever biscuits I can reach from my position on the couch.

Greys and blacks and reds and dark browns.

Autumn is here.