Last day of my twenties

Today is the end of my twenties. I feel a lot stronger about this than I ever thought I would. 30 is.... an adult. 30 is seriously an adult. I am not an adult. I seriously do feel like I'm pretending and the 14 year old teenager inside me is giggling away, excited that she's getting away with the pretense.

My 20s saw me starting and finishing university, working at Starbucks, solidifying my addiction to caffeine, meeting my best friend, working with my best friend, moving in with my best friend, having my best friend live in a different city, eating lots of chocolate, waitressing, moving in with my boyfriend, getting proposed to by my boyfriend in Paris, marrying my boyfriend, moving into a house with my husband, deciding to have a baby, having a baby, being proud of myself, cutting a fringe, growing my fringe out, dying my hair blonde, dying my hair red, gaining lots of weight, getting pale and pasty, losing lots of weight (post wedding..DOH.), learning that I enjoy cycling, cycling to work, moving to London, loving London, temping in the city, being a legal secretary, working for a national charity, being a trustee of a charity, attending interviews and breaking my heart, working for an international children's charity, going out, discovering how much I love eating out, wearing heels and walking home from nights out, wearing bangles, wearing massive hoop earrings, going to a family wedding in Japan, organising a work trip to India, falling in love with India, opening a school in Namibia, falling in love with Namibia, interrailing twice with my boyfriend, falling in love with red wine and duck in France, eating too much cream and wine in Italy, souvlaki and sunshine in Greece, taking a 24 hour ferry, honeymooning in Greece, holidayed in Tunisia, Gran Canaria, playing games to waste time, tapas-ing and sangria in Spain, camping, taking driving lessons, taking my driving test, passing my driving test, buying a Classic Mini, driving a classic mini, buying a Jeep Cherokee, driving a Hate Tank (Jeep Cherokee), visiting family in America, buying my wedding dress in America, carrying my wedding dress as hand luggage home, being pregnant, seeing many plays, watching my husband act, loving my husband, watching my baby grow, creating a family, wanting a dog, buying a dog, loving a dog, being annoyed at my dog, missing the Philippines, missing people, missing my family, discovering Skype, joining Facebook, writing a blog, taking millions of photos, learning I love to jog, discovered black eyeliner, stopped going to church, started going back to church, discovered the importance of extended family, trust myself, fell in love with folk music, watched lots of movies, watched Lost and 24, watched every episode of Friends, got bored of Friends…….

And here I am turning 30. A lot can happen in a decade.

Shallowness

Why, sometimes, am I weirdly jealous of people I have no real reason to be jealous of?

Why do I look at their pictures and get lost in a world of 'I wish I was....'.

In truth, I don't want to be anyone else or look like them, or have blonde hair, or have curly hair, or be short, or be able to wear 4 inch heels, or be able to lead a band as a singer, to be that confident or be outgoing and silly and whimsical and talented and .....

Oh yeah, I do.

Time to grow up? I think so. Just tell my juvenile jealousy that.