What kind of view do you have of yourself? What perspective do you see yourself from?
Me? I have a warped self view. I know this for a fact. In my eyes, I am never good enough, never interesting enough, never fun enough, never intelligent enough for you. I don’t believe I’m good at the things I’m good at – I believe they are some kind of random fluke where I have random spurts of genius that can never be replicated – and those are the particular moments that are seen by people. And that’s just talking about the vague parts of my insides. I also don’t dress cool enough, don’t wear my hair right, don’t do my make up right, don’t have the right body type… I’m just not good enough.
Perhaps it’s my perfectionism. I want to be perfect, I want to be the best ‘me’, but it’s exhausting living up to my own high standards. To put it plainly, it’s pretty much just impossible.
My problem is; this won’t go away. How do you change your self perception? At 27 years old, is it too late? Has my self awareness pattern reached the point of no return? I’m not saying I’m not confident – I am confident, I’m outspoken, I know what I think and what I feel, and I’m happy to tell people about it – but always underneath I have a complete lack of confidence in who I am.
I'm keeping my eyes and ears open for some kind of inspiration for change.
