Writing so long after anything else is making this feel like a journal. A long, empty, white expanse that I can fill my silly, pointless thoughts with.
So - who am I now?
I am most definitely a mother.
I am a fighter.
I am a lazy cleaner.
I believe in love.
I believe in fighting for what's important.
I believe in passion.
I want everyone to understand empathy and to consider the other side.
I want my children to be safe.
I want the world to turn out okay.
I want to turn off the news.
I want to cry sometimes.
A lot of the time.
I feel too much.
I understand a little too much of what people feel.
My mind is small.
The world is small.
The world is too big.
I struggle to hold on to a valid thought.
My brain has stretched and shrunk and I'm not sure what's what.
I want to make the change.
I love change.
I'm scared of change.
Dreams have become a place I go to worry, a place where my fears play themselves out.
I fear illness.
I fear death.
I want us to live forever.
I want to explore.
I want to stay home.
I want to expand.
I want to stay put.
I am 33.
33 is young!
33.
I am a wife.
I am a selfish wife.
I love endlessly.
I love whole-heartedly.
My love will never end, my love is fierce and strong and difficult.
This is difficult.